Some quick mood-boosting tips to lift your spirits
Have you ever noticed how even after doing a lot of personal work, even after learning about your own relationship patterns, there can still be moments where connection feels confusing?
For people who’ve already done a lot of self-reflection, this can feel frustrating. They understand the pattern, they know what anxious attachment looks like, and they might even catch it happening in the moment.
But that doesn’t always prevent the response from showing up.
Have you ever noticed how a few hours of waiting for someone to get back to you can feel like a huge rejection, even though objectively they haven’t rejected you?
For people with anxious attachment, these little gaps in communication can bring up a lot of emotion, second guessing, and self-blame.
Secure attachment is easier, but all the styles developed for a good reason. What can secure learn from other attachment styles?
Compatibility in Dating: Why You Don’t Need to Change Who You Are:
Why emotional unavailability can feel magnetic when you’ve had to work for connection in the past
How anxious attachment can confuse intensity with chemistry
What emotional availability actually looks and feels like in early dating
How to know when you’re over-functioning (and gently shift out of that pattern)
What starts to happen when your system begins trusting healthy, mutual connection
Discover the 7 types of compatibility that actually matter for lasting, secure love. Learn how emotional, mental, and lifestyle compatibility shape healthy relationships, especially if you've struggled with anxious or avoidant patterns in dating.
Have you ever met someone kind, steady, and genuinely available… and felt nothing?
Or maybe they were warm and consistent, and your first thought was:
“Where’s the spark?”
This comes up so often in my work. I can’t tell you how many people have said to me some version of:
“I want something healthy… but I don’t seem to meet people like that when I’m dating, or if I do, I’m not attracted to them.”
If you tend to lean anxious in relationships—and you’re currently single or navigating the early stages of dating—you’ve probably been told this: date someone secure.
It’s solid advice. But here’s something that rarely gets talked about: not all secure partners feel the same.
Have you ever looked back on someone you dated and thought...
“Why did I think we were such a good match?”
Maybe it made sense on paper.
Maybe the chemistry was strong.
But something still felt off—and now, with a little distance, you can see it more clearly.
Without boundaries, real connection can’t thrive.
We might hold onto relationships longer, but we won’t feel safe, respected, or deeply supported inside them.
Let’s explore how to shift that.
If you’ve spent any time in the dating or relationship world, you’ve probably seen lists of “red flags” that claim to tell you exactly when to run. Things like: if they don’t text back within an hour, red flag. If they don’t post you on social media, red flag. If they cancel plans twice, red flag.
The problem is, real life is much messier than that. Everyone has stress. Everyone has flaws. Everyone gets it wrong sometimes. If we treated one misstep as a dealbreaker, no relationship would make it past the first month.
Spotting red and green flags isn’t about perfection—it’s about paying attention to patterns over time.