Is it better to work on your attachment system by learning and thinking about attachment, and taking practical steps to change your behavior (a top down approach), or by accessing the felt sense/working with body sensations, working on calming the nervous system, and feeling what secure feels like in your body (a bottom up approach)?

Stress that stems from relationships is one of the biggest challenges that people face having an attachment adaptation. Since it is rarely possible to remove ourselves from all relationships — lots of downsides to that one, as you can imagine — it is more practical to work on our attachment system and learn ways to feel calmer in relationship.

Anxious attachment usually stems from inconsistent or unpredictable connection in childhood. The result is a desire to keep someone close, and a fear of being abandoned.
Here are some triggers that people with anxious attachment often feel in the beginning stages and later on in relationships:

There’s a myth that people with avoidant attachment don’t want to be in relationships. The truth is, most folks with avoidant adaptation do want to be in a relationship but push their partner away because of underlying fears and triggers which we will explore now.

Whether you’re in a relationship or single, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to recommit to loving yourself and expressing your love and care for others.

Find attachment role models as an adult to become more secure

If you’ve learned about attachment style and you’re in the process of looking for a match, chances are you’ve wondered how to avoid dating people with incompatible attachment styles and find someone with secure attachment.

6 ways to increase your secure attachment

You may have heard of the anxious avoidant trap, where two people with different attachment styles in a relationship get entangled in a dance of disconnection where one withdraws while the other pursues.

What to do if your date or partner is ignoring you, pulling away, and you’re scared you’ll lose them.

If you’ve never been in a relationship where you felt like your partner gave you what you wanted you might wonder what that’s like.

Why do we attract incompatible partners and what do we do about it?

You may have been hearing story after story lately of friend breakups and people ending long relationships. If it seems like you’ve been hearing more stories like this since the pandemic started, it’s not your imagination — people have been struggling with relationships of all kinds, and that includes friendships.

The surprising link between genetics and attachment — and some hopeful news

Researchers have discovered some interesting links between the style we developed as children and the health problems we have as adults

Anytime we experience stress from our environment, it can impact a romantic relationship. We turn to our relationships for comfort and stress relief, but can there be too much of a good thing? Yet some couples are handling this with more ease than others, and we can find some answers in attachment theory.

Helpful exercises so you can get your Zs

It’s more than just a desire for independence